


if i only could make a deal with god

by whothefrellami



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Akuze, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 21:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/654591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whothefrellami/pseuds/whothefrellami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Shepard and the rest of her team are practically grounded for a mission gone horribly wrong, she becomes restless and volunteers for an expedition to Akuze to prove that she's capable and strong enough to still be in service. Seeing it purely as a fast track back into being tasked with bigger missions, she thought it'd be a simple, get in, see what had happened, and get out. But, of course, nothing ever goes to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if i only could make a deal with god

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "Running Up That Hill" By Placebo (Kate Bush cover)

Shepard had signed on because she’d just needed to be out there, doing something. She’d not been sent out in weeks, not for anything big anyway, the last big mission she’d been a part of had been a disaster and the whole team, well, what had survived of it were now being treat like they were the newbies again, the rookies. They’d be sent out on the smaller missions, the not-so-important ones, settling some trader disputes, taking out the odd group of raiders every now and again. She was getting restless and if they weren’t going to send her out, she’d do it herself. Akuze sounded like the perfect opportunity to do just that.

She hadn’t planned on telling Fisher she was going, she was just going to go. But he’d worry about where she was and try to get in touch and then she’d feel awful facing him when she got back, having to explain to him why she’d just taken off. She knew she wouldn’t have the heart to tell him that she knew he’d have tried to talk her out of it and that nothing he could’ve said would’ve changed her mind. He’d been part of the team that had practically been grounded along with her, but he understood it. He realised that they’d made a mistake and until the powers-that-be could trust that they were capable again, the smaller missions were what they had to carry out.

She debated on talking to him about it for a few days. Tell him what she was doing and have to sit through a speech on why she shouldn’t go or go and come back to a speech on why she shouldn’t have?

 

“You’re kidding me, right?” he said. It sounded more like a statement than it did a question, like the answer was that obvious, that yes she was kidding, of course she was. She shook her head.

“No, Fisher, I’m not. I’m going.” He wasn’t stopping her. “Look, we wanna show these guys that were capable, yeah? Well, they’re not giving us anything big enough to be able to show them that, so why is this such a bad idea? There’s a whole colony out there that have dropped out of communication that needs checking out; they don’t know how dangerous it is so they’re not sending anyone they don’t have to. It’s volunteer only. And volunteering always earns you bonus points, no matter what anyone says. We sign up, go- sorry, _I_ sign up, which by the way, I’ve already done, go with the team… if these people are in danger, I show them what I can do and voila, I’m back in the game. Before you know it, we’ll be back out there. _I_. _I_ ’ll be back out there. A hell of lot faster than you and the rest of the guys that didn’t offer to help out.” She knew she was right. This expedition was a fast track back to where she’d been before the mission failure. She watched as Fisher processed what she’d said. She could tell he knew she was right too, but as fun as he was outside of work, in work he tended to do as he was told.

“No, Shepard, this… it’s not right,” he said. “It’s too dangerous, you don’t know what you’re gonna find.”

“Then come with me if you’re so worried. They already have the fifty they wanna send, but I doubt they’re gonna turn away more help. It’s either that or you drop it, because I’m going either way.”

 

He agreed to come in the end. He’d been let on no problem, they’d appreciated the extra man, and the team was set to leave in a couple of hours’ time. Shepard headed back to her apartment to put a few things together. No one knew how long they’d be staying so she didn’t really know what she was supposed to be taking. A change of clothes, a blanket in case they ended up having to sleep down on the surface, they’d been told they’d be provided with weapons but she shoved a bunch of spare ammo in her bag as well just in case there wasn’t enough of that to go around if they found trouble.

After showering and making a few last minute preparations (making sure all the lights, alarms, and the like were turned off - she didn’t want to come home to angry neighbours that had spent however long she’d been gone listening to an alarm that she wasn’t home to switch off) she made her way to where they were departing from.

There were fifty-one of them altogether. The corporals Goodman, Mead, Toombs, and Halter would lead a section of nine, and James, ten. Each marine was assigned to a corporal and each corporal to a destination. They’d been instructed to spread out over the expanse and see what they could find before being armed, wished luck, and sent on their way.

Shepard and Fisher had been placed under Goodman’s command. He seemed nice enough in the shuttle, joking with them, but Shepard had seen him in action. He’d lead a team she’d been a part of on a mission a couple of years back, and he was brutal in the field. He’d take down anything that got in his way and he’d get the job done no matter what. Her and half the team had had to follow him across what could only be described as no man’s land, shots both from weaponry and those of a biotic nature coming at them from every angle. They’d been lucky to get out of that one alive.

She didn’t hold it against him; he was good at what he did, she guessed she just envied him a little, having the power he did, that whole team behind were willing to follow to their deaths. Not that she’d want people to follow her to their deaths, but the respect might’ve been nice.

 

They touched down after a couple of hours on board, the other four shuttles heading to where their passengers had been stationed, and started to scout the area. Everything was quiet; maybe a little too quiet.

“Alright!” Goodman shouted, after they’d made sure the area was secure. “We’re gonna find what happened to these people, and then we’re getting the hell off this place. You stick with me, you don’t wander off. This is not _your_ mission; this is _our_ mission. We’re not losing anyone today.”

They walked for a long time, Shepard wasn’t sure how long. They finally reached a settlement, but it was abandoned. Intact, but empty. Like the people had just upped and left. Over the comms, they’d discovered the other teams had found the same.

“Told you this was shifty,” Fisher said, quietly.

“No, you didn’t say it was shifty. You said it was dangerous. Which, I don’t know, but none of this looks too dangerous to me,” Shepard replied. “But, yeah. I’ll give you shifty.”

There were no signs of life, but no signs of a struggle either, a fight, anything. Shifty didn’t begin to cover it.

Goodman radioed back to whoever it was he reported to - the rest of them hadn’t really been too informed of that kind of thing, they were just backup really - and explained the situation: they didn’t know what had happened to the people, but they were nowhere to be found, and there was nothing that suggested they’d been slaughtered either. They were simply, or not-so-simply, _gone_.

They were instructed to stay the night. All five teams were to rendezvous at one of the camps and they were to stay until morning, alternating patrol duties between themselves.

 

Shepard had been sleeping when they came. She’d been awoken by the roars, the screams, the gunfire. She sat up and grabbed her gun, not quite sure what was going on, only knowing that they were in danger. But before she knew it, Fisher had pulled her to her feet and was shouting things at her, but she wasn’t quite awake enough to understand what was being said. ‘Killing everyone’ was pretty much all she heard. Then came the roar again. She turned to see a creature that must’ve been thirty feet tall, worm-like, towering above the camp. And then two more appeared.

She began to shoot. It was the only thing she could think to do. But there was no way the few of them that were left were taking out three of those things. There must’ve been thirty casualties already. And counting.

She saw Goodman taken out by one of the creatures’ spit, Halter by a lash of one of their claws after getting too close. James was shouting and telling those still alive to run, to get back to the shuttles, that there was zero chance of survival if they didn’t flee. Fisher grabbed her arm and turned them around, pulling her along behind him. They were ahead of the others and she turned to see at least another ten fall. By the time they got far enough in front that they had a chance, they were the only ones left.

They were almost to the shuttles when Fisher fell. Shepard didn’t notice at first, kept running. But she heard him hit the floor and span around. His leg was caught in some branches. She started trying to untangle him, but she was shaking and it didn’t look like there was any way to get him free.

“Shepard,” he said, calmly, for a man who was at high risk of death. “Go.”

She looked at him, expression horrified.

“What? No!” She wasn’t giving up on him. No way. “I’m not leaving you behind. I dragged you into this, and I’ll drag you out if I have to. I am _not_ leaving without you.”

She could see from his face that he’d already given up. He’d accepted he wasn’t getting out of this alive.

“Shepard, you still have a chance. Go!”

Every other friend she’d had had been killed in action. Taken out by some slaver or raider or pirate. She knew if she was going to survive this, she’d have to leave the one thing she had left. The mission was a failure and she was sure she wasn’t getting sent back out in the field any time soon. If anything this it had postponed that even more. But her silence told him she was going to listen. She’d run. She’d live.

“It’s been an honour, Shepard.”

“Honour’s all mine, Fisher.”

If he could be cliché, so could she, and despite the situation, it made her smile.

She stood up and ran up the rest of the hill to the shuttles, not even daring to look back. She couldn’t risk seeing Fisher taken out too.

She had no idea how to fly a shuttle but hell if she wasn’t going to attempt it. After flicking a few switches and pressing a few buttons, she was in the air. She commed through to the Alliance, asked for instructions, directions on how to get back. The urgency in her voice must’ve been apparent because she was given them straight away, no questions asked.

When she was on her way, they’d asked for a status report. She explained that they’d been ambushed. That the team had been lost. That she was the only one left.


End file.
